Everything To Guppy

Episode 510: No. 2

July 21st, 2020  |  18 mins 27 secs

"Stargash!" the avatar of unpleasantness belched, a hallucination of warm, wet spittle flying freely from its techno-organic mouth.

Episode 509: The Chest

July 19th, 2020  |  23 mins 42 secs

Hallucination antrons, meanwhile had the benefit of being completely silent, at the deficit of forcing their recipient—Stargash, in this case—to experience the nightmarish sight of perfectly good mechano-worm components re-shaping themselves into the scowling visage of his least favorite bureaucrat.

Episode 508: Bursting Sack

July 18th, 2020  |  14 mins 47 secs

Invasive, yes, but it also enforced a certain politeness; Stargash had had to spend the better part of a week being serviced in the MacroDoc after a particularly malignant comment about his table manners had managed to lodge itself in his lower intestine.

Episode 507: Restock

July 16th, 2020  |  14 mins 5 secs

There were less pleasant ways to communicate messages across the interstellar distance—Stargash had once breakfasted with a tribe that spoke exclusively through inducing appropriately shaped tumor growths in the skin of their conversational partners.

Episode 506: Host Hat

July 14th, 2020  |  17 mins 51 secs

Stargash's stomach performed a few queasy tumbles as the messenger antrons efficiently hijacked his sensory neurons, and the bulkhead ahead of him suddenly hallucinated itself into the unctuous scowl of Chil'trox of Pliny.

Episode 504: The Road From 500 Pt. 4

July 12th, 2020  |  19 mins 38 secs

But he preferred skipping out on such obligations to either; he was halfway out of the spaceworm's cramped aft gut cabin when the psychic onslaught of a p.o.'d bureaucrat began pinging across his synapses.

Episode 503: The Road From 500 Pt. 3

July 11th, 2020  |  15 mins 56 secs

Of the two, he found he tended to prefer pissing off those in power; their vindictiveness tended to have limits, even if those were simply the borders of the nearest star system.

Episode 502: The Road From 500 Pt. 2

July 9th, 2020  |  16 mins 9 secs

That meant either money or power was knocking at his door, and Chip Stargash had run afoul of both in his times as a Star Soldier For Hire.

Episode 501: The Road From 500 Pt. 1

July 7th, 2020  |  21 mins 2 secs

Which meant that either the sac was developing an eating disorder, or that someone with Priority One Anti-Digestion Insurance was trying to get hold of him.

BONUS: Hell Comes To Harkness House, The Audiobook—Chapter 1

July 6th, 2020  |  23 mins 19 secs

Hey, folks! Future Will here.

This is a silly little bonus I'm tossing onto the feed to celebrate the Episode 500 milestone. It's an audiobook I've recorded of the first chapter of Hell Comes To Harkness House, the extremely silly serialized novel I write in the episode descriptions of Everything To Guppy. (Really, go back and look.) It's dumb and silly and I don't say all the words right, but I figured I'd put it out there for people to enjoy.

Episode 500: The Everything To Guppy 500th Episode Spectacular

July 5th, 2020  |  33 mins 29 secs

Not wishing to hear from the creditors he had spent the last four cycles so aggressively dodging, Stargash had set the sac to auto-digest any messages directed toward his e-dentity.

Episode 499: The Road To 500 Pt. 3

July 4th, 2020  |  16 mins 50 secs

As consciousness kicked the door down and ungratefully barged its way into his brain, he became aware that the worm's messenger sac hovering over his slumberpod was near-full with sticky communiques.

Episode 498: The Road To 500 Pt. 2

July 2nd, 2020  |  19 mins 28 secs

Still clinging to the last erogic gasps of hypersleep, Chip Stargash did his best to ignore the pulsing, fluidish sound.

Episode 497: The Road To 500 Pt. 1

June 30th, 2020  |  17 mins 25 secs

Deep within the bowels of the spaceworm, an organ began to thrum.

Episode 496: Brownie

June 28th, 2020  |  17 mins 24 secs

Flipping open his fleshputer, Chil'trox began searching through lists of contractors with high-level expendability ratings; this seemed, he mused, like a perfect job for The Gyg Economy to handle.

Episode 495: Holy Light

June 27th, 2020  |  15 mins 9 secs

"Every decision is just an opportunity to delegate to someone else."